


Dume

by Stardreamed (Rhomana)



Series: Come In From the Rain [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, kanera - Freeform, spoilers for Jedi Night & Dume
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 11:04:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13762779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhomana/pseuds/Stardreamed
Summary: Spoilers for Jedi Night/Dume.  Kanera feels.  Kanan misses his space-family.





	Dume

I can see her. Hera and her droid. It’s funny. For the longest time, all I wanted was to be able to see her. Now, that’s all I can do.

She blames herself, but… I want to tell her that it’s not her fault. It was just my time. It was the will of the force. Also… I knew she loved me. I mean, yes, I wanted very much to hear her beautiful, intoxicating voice say it with my very own ears, but… I always knew. I could feel it… and not just in the force. As they say, actions speak louder than words. And, she gave me purpose. She gave me life again. I want her to know that. It’s killing me that I can’t tell her.

This new life… It’s interesting. I knew that a change was coming. Yes, a death, but also a renewal. (Granted, I didn’t quite know it would be this!) I’m not who I was. I’m… what I was before I was Caleb Dume. The part that me that was Caleb Dume, aka Kanan Jarrus, the person thinking this now, I’m still rebelling more than a bit at this. But, I’m so much more. I am… Dume. And, I always was. I need to be concerned with more than just Hera or Ezra or the rest of my family. I know this. But… I still love them.

Hera was always so much better at staying on mission, at keeping the bigger picture in mind. She wanted to help everyone. That’s… That’s what I need to do now. I know that. Here, I - the I that is Dume – became Caleb Dume to learn… but, now, what I really need to do is forget… No, wait, that’s not it. I need to let go. Acknowledge what I feel and… Let go. Caleb Dume, aka Kanan Jarrus is dead. That time is over. We can still fight together, but… It’s Dume’s time again now. I know this… Me, I’m just a figment. A part of the greater whole.

I spoke to Ezra in a dream. I could feel his feelings of hopelessness, all that heartbreak and fear though our bond. A bond that… Incredibly, it’s still there, unbroken, even with my death. I think that on some level, he recognized me, but… His fear got in the way and clouded the vision. All he saw was Dume. And, because of his fear, he woke up early, before I could tell him everything. 

Though, I do understand. Of course… Dume is scary. I’m this giant wolf with big teeth that speaks in a stunted, breathy voice. It’s exasperating…. It’s so damn hard to get words out. Wolves weren’t meant to form human words… Or think human thoughts or feel with human feelings… Why did I, why did Dume, become me… What was the point? 

I wouldn't change it... Of course, I’d want to do it all over again… I just… I miss my family. I want to be with them as Caleb Dume, aka Kanan Jarrus, just one more time. Dume… Please… just give me that. Let me hold them all in my arms one more time. Even if it's just to say farewell.


End file.
